Friday, January 22, 2010
Ah, the place of maturity.
As we grow into the individual that God wants us to be, the bible speaks of a pruning process (John 15: 1-2). I was blessed enough to get insight beforehand, I was shown that my process would be extremely difficult and move rather slowly and to my disappointment things began to manifest rather quickly that prove its challenges. In all honesty, I was saddened, fought and continue to fight discouragement, despair, and unbelief. I am faced with the options of defeat or putting my faith in destiny, I choose life. The desire for clarity and character grow and I was thrust into the wilderness. I can talk about the difficulties but most often I see that my expression is hardly ever understood and in my frustration I cry to God.............What is there Lord? Sometimes we need divine motivation that only Christ can provide. In the place of separation and purging is when we need to be the closest to Him. The old cliches "Hang in there, It's around the corner, and it is only but for a season" are not what I need to hear in this season. My heart needs more, I have to get the word to another measure, something deeper. This surface that I have broken through has provoked hunger. As it is written.....man cannot live by bread alone but we live by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. (Matthew 4:4, Luke 4:4)
I am being exposed by the Lord and it seems as if my flaws are magnified. I am being ripped and it is quite a painful. However I was informed of the process so now I have to do all that I know how and after all else stand. Hebrews 12 brought me much comfort-explaining the love of God through discipline. In this season the word has the opportunity to become living like never before. I am at the brink of total submission as I am being refined by the fire. The flames are burning and I must admit retreat is surely a temptation in this season. So the need to constantly renew my mind is clearer that ever. I notice the sneers of those around me and the unbelief that God can do anything with me, its hard. However the place of maturity is a place where you have hit the crossroad. Life, Death? Which one will you choose? The lies of the enemy and your own eyes can act as the biggest
block from the promises. Saturation and application of the word of God is my only hope for survival and the only way to build my relationship while laying down to die in order to rise!
Determined for Transformation,
Saturday, January 16, 2010
I was born into this world with a major birth defect, because I did not get proper treatment, my condition got worse. I developed several complications and injuries because I did not go through surgery as a child. Now as an adult, I am just recovering from major heart and brain surgery. Even though my new organs were accepted I feel a resistance like no other, my body didn't reject my new blessings but the warfare pretends as if it did-so the need to fight increases and this time I am fighting for my life.
Many false images of God try to co-exist in our belief of who Christ is. Apathy grows as people lose heart and gain self in a quest to grow spiritually or indulge in religiosity. To know Christ is to deny self-the flesh acts as our worst enemy. Past pain creates a sense of entitlement-believing we are deserving of better. The new heart is necessary to really know Christ, we are incapable of real understanding with it.
There is a newness in the wind, God is doing a mighty work. The call for surgery is loud and clear.
The heart and the mind must be put under the authority of the Father's will for your life. Even though the word had come to me on several occasions about the heart and mind, its connection, and its importance for perspective and growth in Christ, I missed the message and continued to walk in the detrimental behavior that kept my mind bound and my heart decayed. The decision to get surgery is the most important and acts as the beginning stages to liberty in Christ.
This decision is simply Mark 8:34-35:
Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 35For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.
It took me awhile to realize that it was me that stood in the way to separate me from the desired relationship with God. According to Genesis we are made in His image and His likeness, we have dominion and power, with Christ living in us, where is the disconnect? It has to lie in the fact that we do not internalize, receive, or understand that truth. There is an absence of the true fear of God, which is the beginning of wisdom.
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
Does is not make sense? If you don't reverence God as you should you can never understand. When we hear the word fear we think one thing, this fear is not however, the fear of hell, torment, and punishment but the true acknowledgement of who He is and everything God encompasses. The true fear of the Lord is a positive quality, in Hebrew this kind of fear is called yirah. This fear should motivate and inspire a response that parallels with God's word and purpose for your life. If we realized his greatness the need to please Him would increase. The all knowing, all seeing God should put fear in the hearts of man, for He shall not be mocked and every seed planted will produce a harvest, get it? Many operate in lawlessness and totally disregard God's word and warnings when it comes to something the flesh desires. We choose to indulge in that thing and then later repent. So we have satisfied the flesh first and think about God later-this is not abundant living, in this instance Christ was not acknowledged, nor was the Father's will considered.
Let's look at the woman at the well. Where was her heart? God knew her when she didn't even know herself. He instructed her "Go get your husband" I look at that piece because many of us try to pretend and fake as if we have it all together but He knows all. She answered honestly from her current position and that's what God expects of us. How can we repent if we don't take ownership of our mishaps? Do you see how we act as our own stumbling blocks?
Realize your need for the Lord and go to Him for the surgery. He will not deny you. Please search your heart and seek truth, what is real versus the generic. God isn't compared to anything else and He has no substitutions. The void we have can only be filled by Christ. No substitutions necessary.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
As the deer pants for the water so my soul longs after you, I am thirsty and want your water Lord. I am at the brook Jesus. As I bend in submission to drink from your source, saturate me with all you are. Enlighten my eyes, create a new heart with a steadfast willing spirit in me, let me only have eyes for you.
A love so deep, a life so rich, a sacrifice so great..................HE IS
Lord we meet you with earnest expectation parched and needing you. Quench our thirst as we continue to seek you in everything.
We are knocking.................
I see that the hunger for more is a corporate desire in the Kingdom, to know God, to recognize Him, and live for His glory. The breaking of ideologies, traditions, and false relationships is sweeping through the hearts of His people. The truth is splitting the hearts and revealing the truth that lies in us. Once the light of truth is shone, you can no longer live in the dark. It is time to return to your first love, embrace Christ as your Savior and go hard for God*
locked into Christ,
Monday, January 4, 2010
It's 2010, a new decade, a new year, and there should be a NEW YOU. As time passes we discover, we learn, and grow. God's word grooms us into his image, its a tough road breaking away from ourselves but the reward is eternal.
Before the start of 2010, I declared this the year of awakening and I choose to believe it. This year is a monumental year in my life, my spirit is being stirred to work in ways I never have before, to abandon the old that has not proven to bring me good success and to embrace a tenacious spirit in the things of the Lord. My focus has changed to total dependence on the word of God, prayer, and worship.
I simply love worship, my spirit leaps at the chance to praise my God through song. I am not a dancer however I just have the desire to flow with the spirit as I sing my love unto Him. The shift is huge an unrecognizable, like nothing I have ever experienced before. The warmth of his presence resting on me is addicting and I long to stay in that place, of peace, stillness, and what feels to be endless time.
My desire is to transition into a place where I can experience that same thing in prayer, in service, in my obedience to His word, and in the operation of my God given gifts. I do experience that in those areas but as I stated before this time is different and my expectation has heightened. I want to experience God and have the intimacy grow. I have a new hunger and thirst that only the King can satisfy and I plan to receive all he has for me.
My mindset has changed, His voice is clear, and I have being taken through a major heart transplant to connect everything together. A lot of my personality transitioned from joy and liberty (as a small child) to defensiveness and bondage from abuse, low self esteem and the lawlessness of my youth. I thank God that through all the pain that I still had a chance to be his child. HIs love is like nothing in this world.
God already has proven himself to be a healer and restorer of breaches this early in the year and I am grateful. I pray that my faith increases in the change. A woman of great faith, character, and integrity-there lies my heart's desire. (for God and God alone.) Meditating on Hebrews 12 and the need for discipline, the reward of righteous living and the peace connected to it!
I am aiming for great faith, like Abraham- in Libby*.
So if you have been following my blog, you remember that this year is a focus on God like never before and I am not to entertain the concept of marriage at all- a desire of my heart-but, I must wait on Him and listen closely. I know the Lord is preparing my Man of God as I am being prepared as well. I do know that he is on his way. I also know how the devil works and how he will attempt to pull out all the stops in an effort to have me miss out, lose faith, and forfeit the promise, so-gotta stay focused.
I have already been asked on a date (which I cannot attend in full knowledge of my commitment to the Lord and the personal mandate for my development). I am excited, my spiritual eyes are being sharpened for that one in the process. I will know how to recognize the one God has hand crafted for me with out confusion-how marvelous* I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to start anew and am taking full advantage of everything I have in life with Christ.
I look forward to the growth.
This year, do something different! Laugh, love and live hard-for Christ. Get a new heart, new mindset and a fresh perspective. Act like you have a God that can exceed your expectation, have faith, and be amazed.